Hurts.

I glanced up at her quickly, hopeful. I had heard a little bit of what the lady was saying on the phone. Honors College. Raffle. Free tuition. I was hopeful, hopeful, hopeful. Had I won? I thought I had won. I took hold of the phone. The lady said many things, but none of those things were "You won." Instead, she said the check arrived too late. My mom sent it too late. The drawing had been held the previous day; but did I want the check back? No. I did not want the check back. Actually, yes, I did. But could I say that without sounding cheap? Could I say that without making it obvious that my family couldn't afford to donate, to give money, to do anything except for wait and hope for a better time? Disappointment. Crushing disappointment. But I feel like this happens to me all the time. Not losing; that happens to a lot of people. But I'm always too late. Late, late, late.