This is all too personal. But I don't know what else to write.

But you know, I'm not unhappy, per say. I mean, my living conditions are pretty sucky, I miss my family all the time, and I never have time to hang out with the few good friends I've made here. But I also feel fulfilled (most of the time), proud of myself, and so in love. Not only with James, but also with art and my parents and my siblings and food (when I have time to sit down and eat a proper meal), and my bed (when I have time to sleep in it) and the trees and the sky and everything, everything.

I just really want things to get better for my parents. That's all I want and all I ask for. All the stress that I go through is fine. I would have it doubled, tripled, if only things would get better for them.