Home About Me Contact Tumblr

Saturday, May 28

"Wake up, the sun is rising without you."

I am grateful for so many things and so many people, including, but not limited to (by any means):
- My watermelon scented (no tangles!) shampoo
-This room, which is mine, even if only for a week or so
-My comforter (my mama bought it for me in high school)
-Cocoa, for allowing me to squeeze him against the hollow space within my ribcage that hurts so much
-This computer
-My ability to take pictures that adequately express how I am feeling
-Songs and art that articulate the things that I cannot
-My mother, and her wonderful and supportive reaction to this news
-My brother, who has put his love for James and his disappointment aside in order to talk about video games and Lucky Charms with me
-My older sister, who answers my calls at all hours of the day with a sleepy "...hello?"
-My younger sister, who is supporting me in the way that she does everything: quietly and internally (with the exception of arguing, which she does quite loudly and stubbornly)
-My body, which has not yet failed me, despite the fact that I put food in it about once a day
-My hair, which looks nice enough to distract people from the fact that I look miserabe
-Beth, for driving three hours to see me yesterday, and staying up with me until 2 and then waking up with me at 4. And for hugging me and cuddling with me and being just so, so kind
-Josh and Jared, for letting me stay with them, even though I'm kind of a turd. And for buying me hummus because, "We thought about what vegetarian Indians eat, and hummus seemed like a pretty safe bet" (It was a wonderful bet)
-Laura, for responding to my daily text of "Wachoo dooin'?" enthusiastically, and taking me to Lakeside Emporium, and for reading children's books to me in Barnes & Noble
-Katherine, for letting me stay with her for a few days, and for getting me out of my funk by calling from the top of the stairs, "Satpreet... Do you wanna do crafts with me?"
-Marissa, for giving me the Jackie D pep talk that got me to go to ELAF
-Georgia, of course, for being all kinds of wonderful. I cannot even express how much her support meant to me
-Lindsey, for being Lindsey, no matter what. And for letting me camp in her backyard with her for the next few nights
-The Suttons, for allowing me to attend family night dinners and steal their daughter far too often
-The DeVoursneys, for being entertaining without meaning to, as only they can
-Allye, for writing a song that pretty much articulated how desperate and sad I was feeling when I couldn't
-Katie Johnson, for putting her allegiance aside and sending me very kind and very helpful messages that gave me faith in myself
-So many friends who have just sent me words or thoughts of kindness, proving to me that there are so many caring people in the world
-My car, which reminds me of my father, keeps me grounded, and keeps propelling me in whichever direction I wish to go, even when I sing poorly and very loudly during the trip. And for holding all of my secret tears and secret cries of "Why?" and secret farts which I fart in my sleep
-God, who listens to me and comforts me even when I say, "I'm not sure who I'm talking to, and I'm not sure if you care"
-The world, which keeps on moving all around me, despite the fact that it feels like my life has stopped

And so many more things and people. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for caring.

No comments: