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Wednesday, March 14

2,000

Guys. I have some news. This post, the very post that you are reading right now, is my 2,000th post on this blog.

I know. I can't even believe it myself, and I am a little bit paralyzed by the pressure of it all. I feel like this post can't be just any post; it has to be amazing, breathtaking, life changing! Right? Right?

Oh my gosh. 2,000 posts. How is that even possible? Well, let's take a trip down good ol' memory lane, shall we?

The first time I posted on this blog, it was May 3rd, 2006. The post is only a little (a lot) embarrassing, and you can read it here. When I wrote that, I was 16 years old. I was a junior in high school, living with my parents in Muskegon. I had yet to meet a boy that I really, truly, and deeply liked; I did not have my license; I did not think of myself as an artistic person. I wanted to graduate from high school and move to New York City to major in journalism.

I like to think that I know myself, the world around me, and the people around me, on, if not a much deeper level, than at least a slightly deeper level, than I did then. I have found a sense of purpose in my life. I have found something that I am so intensely passionate about: art. To think that, six years ago, I didn't see myself as a creative individual -- well, that just blows my mind.

God. Life is so different than I ever expected. And I am so happy to be exactly where I am right now, in this very moment. Six years ago, I never would have thought that on March 14th, 2012, I would be sitting in a studio/bedroom space in Southern California, art projects, both finished and unfinished, surrounding me, my arms still throbbing from the shots I got to prepare for my 6 week trip to India, my mind still racing from the news that I will be living at Penland for four months come May. 

And sitting here now, I have no idea what to expect from my life one year from now, let alone six. All I know is that, no matter where I end up, it will probably be a good place. It could be on this side of the country, or on the other side of the world. I could end up married with 5 kids or single with a really nice dog. I could be an artist or a teacher or a writer or some sort of political activist. 

It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. Life is a series of choices, some small, some big. And most of them, I have to believe, lead you to a good place. Maybe not the best place, but what is the best place? Maybe not the "right" place, but what is the right place? No matter where you are going, you will end up somewhere. And you will do your share of laughing and hugging, as well as crying and feeling absolutely miserable. 

Looking back at these last six years, I know I made so many, so many mistakes. I took wrong turns and prioritized incorrectly. I spent nights feeling miserable and sad and alone. But I've learned. I've grown. I see so much now that I didn't see before.

For these next six years, I only hope that, no matter what happens, I will do my best to be kind, to be true, and to love myself and the world around me. Starting today. Starting right now.

--

For those of you who have stuck with this blog (and me) for the last six years, for longer: Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Sometimes, I think about all of the wonderful friends I have, and I feel so undeniably lucky and blessed, that I feel like I could never wish for anything else (And sometimes I can't stand you guys, but that's another story for another time).

As a matter of fact, to everyone who has taken time out of their day to read this, when they could probably be doing something much more interesting: Seriously, thank you. It means so very much.

2 comments:

Sam said...

GURRRRL, I did not realize you were from Muskegon!

ps. i love this post.

Kyle said...

<3 <3 <3