I'm going to do it my way.
I'm going to do it slow.

But I'm going to do it.
I will.

Nothing quite like

trying hard and failing.

The only thing that stops me is the thought of my chafed butt.

I want to bike to the South and get lost in the wild mountains.

Once more, with feeling.

Finally, finally,
I have a goal
a dream
a direction

in which to travel.

So many friends, so many places.

Day off, and I just spent over three hours on the phone with about six different people catching up on everything from the magic of the Chrome incognito window, to different protein powders, to the struggle and joy of loving one's own body.

A glimpse.

The dim light
The warm walls
A kitchen in the background
And shorts.

I was wearing shorts.

So much closer

So come on.

When did we stop listening to one another?

I don't know how I am feeling, or why I am feeling the way that I am feeling (whatever way that "way" may be), I just wish I could talk about it.

Tidy departures.

I can tell, without looking at a calendar, that it's almost been a year since I moved here. 

Without looking at a calendar, I know that I am nearing the end of one full cycle. When I wake up, the sunlight looks familiar. When I go for a walk, the air feels familiar. When I go to the beach, the ocean smells familiar.

While walking to my car this morning, I felt the mist-like drizzle of the morning air (the closest thing I've experienced to rain in months), and I knew that I had felt it before. While unpacking my things from my car when I moved in with Dan and Karen, when I drove to LAX and picked up Kim from the airport, when I went on a solitary walk on a solitary night on an abandoned beach I stumbled upon on accident and never was able to find again. 

The cycle is restarting just as my time here is ending. I am glad that I stayed here for many reasons, one of them being love and another being the familiarity of the elements. To feel the winds change with the seasons and, for once, to know exactly what it meant. Because it smells and looks and feels familiar; it smells and looks and feels so close, so close to home.

What if it is

time to move
time to move
time to move
again?