Dancing.

As much as I have come to terms with the fact that it is not going to work out with him, sometimes, when I think about the time we spent together and how I felt, I get extremely sad. And it's not necessarily because of him, but because of what he represented.

With him, it was as if a completely new world was opening up for me. As if the world I had always known had been ripped down the center and pulled apart, revealing not the end, but a place greater than anything I had ever known. A place that I had not dared to believe existed. It was beautiful. It was... Completely and utterly unreal.

I was dreaming.

And with the realization that the time was an illusion, came the doubt of the existence of that world. Or at least, the doubt that it would ever exist for me. And I've always had that, but unlike before, where I had never witnessed it, had no relation with those feelings, with that place, I remember now what it felt like, and I will remember for a long time to come. I got a taste of what life could be without the security of knowing that that is how my life would become. And it won't be that way. Not now. Maybe not ever.

It makes me ache for something like I never have before. With the entirety of my existence, I yearn for it. For those feelings. For that entire state of mind and perspective that is beginning to feel more and more like a dream.