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Monday, November 26


This is the life I have lived for so long. I am in a new place, surrounded by new place, supporting myself in a new way; but I am still me. I will remain me for as long as I live. No shorter, no longer. This is the truth I have been searching for. Maybe nothing is forever. But I will make sure that I will love myself forever. That I will have faith in myself forever.

I really can't think back and pinpoint when I became one of those people. You know. One of those people. But I'm changing it. I'm changing it because I should. And because it will make me smile more. In my eyes and not just in my lips. Because it's true. I do miss the laughter in my eyes.

The snow adds depth to the world, to the air, to the love that surrounds me if I let it. At the end of the day, we're all just a bunch of cold kids with snow in our hair, school in our minds, and peace in our hearts. What is community, if not that?

And the way I felt, looking through the towers of my past, the glass panes of my future. I will never be able to describe. I was not holding back tears, but smiles. But laughs. I giggled. Right there. Right there. Just like that.

Because I was alive. And you were alive. And we were all alive. Together. Walking. Walking. Walking to wherever it is our legs, minds, goals would take us. Because that is all we can hope to walk toward. The future.

In my past, I lived in the future. In my future, I found myself living in the past. I think it is time to live in a time period as it is the present. As it is passing through my irises and into my the deep well of my mind, sinking into my heart and feeding me with all that the world has to give.

Because look at the birds in that tree, look at the boy riding by on his bike, with his floppy hat. We glanced at each other, quickly, in awe of the birds, of the wonder of nature, of the air in our lungs, and there it was. Community. A bond. Because we are all human.

Look at the way the snow falls. A million angels with parachutes. Falling gracefully to the ground, where they will melt right through the surface of the Earth and go to the heart of it, a place that we could never know. Where we see fire, they see life.

We're all alive. Gazing through windows, looking up at trees, dreaming of morning, catching snowflakes on our tongues, walking through doors, climbing up stairs, pressing all the buttons just because we can, opening all the locks just because we want, eating all the cookies just because. Just because we're young. Just because we're carefree.

Just because we're alive.

We will do it. And we will do it all. Because we are living. And this. This right here is what it looks like. It looks like everything I want to be and everything I am. Open your eyes to see it. Close your eyes to feel it. Spread your arms to touch it. Open your mouth to taste it. Open your lungs to breathe it.

Take one step outside your door to be it. It is you.

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