Beautiful Loser.

It is this feeling. That I can succeed. That I can work at it. And then make it work. That I can do this. I can do this. Do this. Do all of this. I just need to get focused. I can do this. I cannot do everything. 

I feel inspired. I feel content. I feel as if I just had a very large and satisfying dinner. I feel like I need to get up and go.

Because this is not the world. This is not the world. The world is out there. And how will I ever learn to die if I cannot first learn to live?

There is more than just this.

I am fighting the part of me that is Indian.

The part of me that needs an education

That needs discipline

That needs security

And the part of me that is an artist

The part of me that needs freedom

That needs experience

That needs to live more than this.

It is something I was raised as versus something I was born as.

It is something that I know versus something that I have suppressed.

It is something that I want to accomplish versus something that I need to do.

The choice is obvious.

And yet

I will sit here

And do my homework

And study my books

And be the person

I

Have

Always

Been.