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Saturday, July 16

With my long arms, I will gather you all and hold you close.

It is easy to feel sad, to feel bad, to wake up and think, "Why, why, why?"

Not "Why did we break up?" because that question is no longer relevant, but rather, "Why is he treating me like I broke up with him/cheated on him/treated him poorly?" It's easy to go back through the years and slowly convince myself that, yes, I was crazy. I was mean and rude and unkind and unloving. I was selfish and boring and just not, not, not worth being nice to anymore. 

And then I wake up to a beautiful message from a wonderful acquaintance who I have not seen since May, and I feel okay. I feel like crying, because I think to myself, "No. I am not that bad. I am not unkind. I am worth being nice to. I am." And it's such a relief.

"You posting that reminded me of how interesting you always were. I have always loved all of your work and now reading your blog I realize what a wonderful soul you have. Never have I seen such a perfect example of an all around artist. You breath speak create and exude beauty. Sending some positive thoughts your way and hoping happiness doesn't desert you again."

Although I believe this message reflects more the goodness and kindness of the sender than it does any beauty that I may exude, it was wonderful to read a few days ago, when I really needed it. There's something so selfless about sending a kind message/email/letter or calling someone just to let them know that you are thinking about them, and you are there. There is something very genuine about this act that reflects how wonderful that person is. Especially when you haven't talked to them in awhile. Especially if you only had one class with them and never talked to them that much anyway.

So thank you, all you wonderful people with your kind and caring words. You inspire me to be a better person, a more selfless person. I don't know how you think so highly of me, but I am so honored to be in your lives.

Also, it's 11:11.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you said that the messages you get "reflect the goodness of the sender." remember that the negativity you get reflects more about the sender than you.

love kerry